Friday, March 2, 2012

Day 199 of College: Taco Bell: Indiana's Fountian of Youth

Today...

My spring break starts in T-minus 3 hours. So, that's a thing. Unfortunately, my spring break will mainly consist of being at home, in Fishers, going to the dentist, in Fishers, and driving my siblings to school, also in Fishers. In case you haven't noticed, there is a recurring theme here. Well, two actually. Those themes are suckiness and also Fishers. 

After Muncie, you'd think that Fishers basically the bomb dot com. Uptown compared to Downtown, if you will. 

But...when you think of where all the other college kids are going for spring break (Florida, Florida, Florida and also Florida)...my life just looks real sad. 

Florida is warm. 

Fishers is not warm. 

Florida has beaches. 

Fishers does not have beaches.

Florida is where Spanish explorer Ponce De Leon believed the legendary Fountain of Youth was located. 

The closest thing Fishers has to a Spanish explorer or a Fountain of Youth is Taco Bell. 

My life...is the worst. 

Also, I've managed to collect another awkward moment to add the the collection of what I've started to call "Danielle's Greatest Hits." Other people call it life. That, my friends, is too simple when your life is as complex, depressing and Fountain-of-Youth-less as mine is. 

So, anyway, I was eating lunch. My lunch consisted of a piece of pizza and a breadstick. If you can see where this is going, raise your hand. 

Somehow I finished my piece of pizza with surprisingly little conflict. The trouble started with the breadstick. Specifically when I realized that I had been making very awkward and very intense eye contact with the same girl for the past five minutes. Why she didn't just look away is beyond me.

But, once I realized what I was doing, I was halfway done eating a breadstick. I felt so incredibly awkward with that stick of bread hanging out of my mouth that I just shoved the entire thing in my mouth and basically swallowed it whole. I think I unhinged my jaw a bit, like a reticulated python.

And the amazing thing is, that stupid girl kept eye contact with me. The entire time.

Sad thing is, that doesn't even break into my top two dozen most embarrassing moments. Hell, it doesn't even break into the top two dozen food-related embarrassing moments. 

Just a typical Friday, I guess. 

Danielle Out

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