Thursday, November 29, 2012

Drug Trafficking and YOU

Greetings, blog readers. So...it's been a while.

Like a couple of months. I've been busy.

Don't look at me like that...I have. I've been doing so many productive things and making so many friends....

Okay, okay, you caught me.

I bought an xbox.

So...technically I have been busy. Just not busy in a positive way. Unless you count playing Skyrim for like 8 hours a day as a positive way to be busy.

Moving on...my video game playing has led to some crazy escapades. And by crazy escapades, I mean me injuring myself while doing something stupid. Again.

All I was trying to do was hang up a kickass Batman poster because my room was boring (it's not boring anymore. Now it has a kickass Batman poster). So, I was doing that. Just chilling in my room and standing on a desk and hanging up my poster. I got it all stuck to the wall and I was like, "yeah! this Batman poster looks awesome! no more crime for my room, no sir!"

So, I was all excited and whatnot. I was going to hop off my desk, head downstairs and get some celebratory grape jello. That didn't happen. I jumped from my desk to my bed...and it all went downhill from there. See, I can't jump very far in real life. In video games, I'm a world-class jumper. I could jump the crap outta any jump-related situation. In real life, not so much. Long story short, one of my legs ended up on the bed and the other ended up on the floor. I inadvertently did the splits and suddenly walking wasn't really in the cards for me.

I've been limping around like some sort of demented pirate for the past two weeks. It's made my walking class rather difficult.

That's just one of the wacky and depressing things I've been up to. I also had the stomach flu on Thanksgiving and dressed as Batgirl some more. So...you know. Average Danielle-type things that I've been doing.

Right now, I'm in class. Criminology to be precise. My professor sucks. A lot. Today we're talking about cocaine trafficking and prostitution. Fun topic, right? WRONG! She's making it SO BORING!

How does one make prostitution and cocaine boring? I don't know! It's like a recipie for fun and debauchery! Or a kickass movie! It should be like Scarface up in here and instead I'm so effing bored that I'm stabbing myself in the leg with a pencil just to stay awake.

I should really be teaching this class instead. I'd wear my Batsuit and bring in a real live prostitute for the students to look at (don't touch...they bite!). I really am so much better at things than most people.

Gah, I should go.

I've probably got lead poisoning from all the pencil-leg-stabbing I've done.

So, if I die in the next few hours...that's probably why.