Today...
We've reached the 100s, people. I am no longer writing out what day of college it is. If that upsets you...tough. I have no idea why it would upset you. If it does...then you are the one with the problem, sir.
Moving on from that oh-so-important formatting decision, my Thanksgiving break is over. Sadness. Now I'm back in Funcie Muncie with all of its suckiness and homework. Boo. My life is so hard. I did no homework over break. Literally none. AND I HAD A LOT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. So now I have to write a speech about overpopulation, cut a stupid video sequence and do a bunch of other things that I forgot about before tomorrow.
Anyhow.
I still hate Twilight. Also, the way that vampire books have basically killed-off the rest of the young-adult books. I'm a young adult. I like books. But the only books available for me to read are about stupid sparkly vampires. I swear, they're on the TV now too. Did you know that there's a show called the Vampire Diaries? Seriously, it's like a real thing. And don't even get me started on True Blood...
People get paid to act like sexy vampires. People bother to watch TV shows about sexy vampires. Yeah, cause nothing is sexier than dead people. What is wrong with our society? At what point did necrophilia become an acceptable, like, thing?
Why am I italicizing so many things?
It's beyond me at this point.
I'm tired. There was a Friends marathon last night. Talk about quality TV! Jennifer Aniston may be the queen of bad romantic comedies at this point and, according to most tabloids, destined to die sad and alone. But, back then! She was awesome! Her show was awesome!
I miss the nineties. Back when Friends was on and vampires were creepy creatures of night and not sexy. Or sparkly. Or the artist formerly known as Cedric Diggory.
The 2010's suck. We have no Friends. We have no non-sexy, non-brooding vampires. Also, Jennifer Aniston is lonely.
How sad.
Danielle Out.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Day Ninety-Two of College: Dead Mongooses
Today...
(Well, actually more like last night)
I DIDN'T SLEEP.
I'm serious. You know how most people say "oh, I didn't get any sleep last night" and really they went to bed at like two in the morning and actually got at least six hours of sleep?
Yeah, well, that's not what I mean. I mean that I literally did not sleep last night. AT ALL.
It wasn't for, like, a particular reason. Well, I was freaking out a little about the whole major-thing...but I've been freaking out about that for like, months now. So...I dunno. I just didn't sleep.
Maybe I'm turning into a vampire.
God...that new vampire movie comes out this week, doesn't it? I still don't understand the attraction behind those stupid Twilight books/movies.
I'm not hating without reason, bro. I read the books, all of 'em. And I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'm not gonna be one of those snobby people who're all like,
"Twilight is an affront to literature and human decency."
I mean, I won't say it out loud, at least, or post it repeatedly in online twilight forums.
But, seriously, there has to be something that I'm missing.
Cause, in my eyes (and spolier alert here), this is the basic plot:
1. There is a girl named Bella. Bella is a personality-less pale girl with exactly ONE facial expression.
2. There are some people called Cullens. The Cullens are all sparkly and good-looking (and not gay...or so they claim). One of them is named Edward. He decides that he likes Bella, despite her having the personality and facial expression of a dead mongoose. He likes Bella A LOT.
3. Stalking and special-hugs ensue.
4. There are some werewolves and some angst.
5. At some point in there, Bella and Edward get married. I dunno. Apparently you can marry undead things now. Poor Edward, having to be married to an undead mongoose. No wonder he talks about how bad she smells so often.
6. Also, undead things can have babies now. Cause that happens.
7. A werewolf (with really great abs) falls madly in love with a baby. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK ITS EVEN KINDA WEIRD AND/OR CREEPY.
8. That's pretty much the sum of it.
(spoilers over!)
So...that's what I got from all like 7 thousand+ words of the Twilight series. Also, the word murmur. Someone murmured to Stephanie Myer too much as a child. Seriously. The word is on like, EVERY PAGE.
Wow....I brought pop culture up into this blog. I don't usually do that. Unless it's Cosmo. Cosmo is always in the subtext of my blogs. ALWAYS.
Now I'm probably gonna have to deal with hate-comments about how I shouldn't be hating on Twilight. I dunno. I was the one who read all four books. Granted, I did it mostly to understand my classmates in Junior High.
Junior High was the worst.
Danielle Out.
(Well, actually more like last night)
I DIDN'T SLEEP.
I'm serious. You know how most people say "oh, I didn't get any sleep last night" and really they went to bed at like two in the morning and actually got at least six hours of sleep?
Yeah, well, that's not what I mean. I mean that I literally did not sleep last night. AT ALL.
It wasn't for, like, a particular reason. Well, I was freaking out a little about the whole major-thing...but I've been freaking out about that for like, months now. So...I dunno. I just didn't sleep.
Maybe I'm turning into a vampire.
God...that new vampire movie comes out this week, doesn't it? I still don't understand the attraction behind those stupid Twilight books/movies.
I'm not hating without reason, bro. I read the books, all of 'em. And I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'm not gonna be one of those snobby people who're all like,
"Twilight is an affront to literature and human decency."
I mean, I won't say it out loud, at least, or post it repeatedly in online twilight forums.
But, seriously, there has to be something that I'm missing.
Cause, in my eyes (and spolier alert here), this is the basic plot:
1. There is a girl named Bella. Bella is a personality-less pale girl with exactly ONE facial expression.
2. There are some people called Cullens. The Cullens are all sparkly and good-looking (and not gay...or so they claim). One of them is named Edward. He decides that he likes Bella, despite her having the personality and facial expression of a dead mongoose. He likes Bella A LOT.
3. Stalking and special-hugs ensue.
4. There are some werewolves and some angst.
5. At some point in there, Bella and Edward get married. I dunno. Apparently you can marry undead things now. Poor Edward, having to be married to an undead mongoose. No wonder he talks about how bad she smells so often.
6. Also, undead things can have babies now. Cause that happens.
7. A werewolf (with really great abs) falls madly in love with a baby. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK ITS EVEN KINDA WEIRD AND/OR CREEPY.
8. That's pretty much the sum of it.
(spoilers over!)
So...that's what I got from all like 7 thousand+ words of the Twilight series. Also, the word murmur. Someone murmured to Stephanie Myer too much as a child. Seriously. The word is on like, EVERY PAGE.
Wow....I brought pop culture up into this blog. I don't usually do that. Unless it's Cosmo. Cosmo is always in the subtext of my blogs. ALWAYS.
Now I'm probably gonna have to deal with hate-comments about how I shouldn't be hating on Twilight. I dunno. I was the one who read all four books. Granted, I did it mostly to understand my classmates in Junior High.
Junior High was the worst.
Danielle Out.
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