Day Ninety-Two of College: Dead Mongooses

Today...
 (Well, actually more like last night)


I DIDN'T SLEEP. 


I'm serious. You know how most people say "oh, I didn't get any sleep last night" and really they went to bed at like two in the morning and actually got at least six hours of sleep?


Yeah, well, that's not what I mean. I mean that I literally did not sleep last night. AT ALL. 


It wasn't for, like, a particular reason. Well, I was freaking out a little about the whole major-thing...but I've been freaking out about that for like, months now. So...I dunno. I just didn't sleep. 


Maybe I'm turning into a vampire. 


God...that new vampire movie comes out this week, doesn't it? I still don't understand the attraction behind those stupid Twilight books/movies. 


I'm not hating without reason, bro. I read the books, all of 'em. And I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'm not gonna be one of those snobby people who're all like, 
                    "Twilight is an affront to literature and human decency." 
I mean, I won't say it out loud, at least, or post it repeatedly in online twilight forums. 


But, seriously, there has to be something that I'm missing. 


          Cause, in my eyes (and spolier alert here), this is the basic plot: 


1. There is a girl named Bella. Bella is a personality-less pale girl with exactly ONE facial expression. 


2. There are some people called Cullens. The Cullens are all sparkly and good-looking (and not gay...or so they claim). One of them is named Edward. He decides that he likes Bella, despite her having the personality and facial expression of a dead mongoose. He likes Bella A LOT. 


3. Stalking and special-hugs ensue. 


4. There are some werewolves and some angst. 


5. At some point in there, Bella and Edward get married. I dunno. Apparently you can marry undead things now. Poor Edward, having to be married to an undead mongoose. No wonder he talks about how bad she smells so often. 


6. Also, undead things can have babies now. Cause that happens. 


7. A werewolf (with really great abs) falls madly in love with a baby. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK ITS EVEN KINDA WEIRD AND/OR CREEPY.


8. That's pretty much the sum of it. 


                   (spoilers over!) 




So...that's what I got from all like 7 thousand+ words of the Twilight series. Also, the word murmur. Someone murmured to Stephanie Myer too much as a child. Seriously. The word is on like, EVERY PAGE. 




Wow....I brought pop culture up into this blog. I don't usually do that. Unless it's Cosmo. Cosmo is always in the subtext of my blogs. ALWAYS. 


Now I'm probably gonna have to deal with hate-comments about how I shouldn't be hating on Twilight. I dunno. I was the one who read all four books. Granted, I did it mostly to understand my classmates in Junior High. 


Junior High was the worst. 


Danielle Out.