I'm baaaack!
Well, not back so much as...writing again. I don't know. I've always been, like, around. I didn't go anywhere. I just didn't do any blog writing of late. Anyway. Things.
I've got, like 16 days of school left. I am not excited. I like school...well, not school so much as my dorm room and not living in my house with lots of different people. There are lots of people at my house. Lots. I think we could be our own tiny nation, if we so desired.
My dorm room is small and safe and clean and mine. My house is literally none of those things. Meh...I will miss you, room 336...
Anyway. I've decided I want a snake next year. Or a cat. One of those two creatures. Maybe both, I don't know. Pope John and I agree that I've gotten to the age where I can start filling my loneliness with animals. And cake.
But back to my snake. His name will be something clever and he will eat dead mouses and everything will be fabulous. Unless he sneaks out of his cage at night and kills me. That would not be fabulous. That would actually suck. But...back to his name! I'm thinking Vincent Van Gogh. It could call him Vinny for short!
But then people would think I named him after the Jersey Shore...
Hmmm. That would not be acceptable. I've never even seen the Jersey Shore (the place or the television show...)
I'll keep thinking.
So I went and saw a bodybuilding competition yesterday. It was weird. There were a bunch of really fit guys on stage (which I liked) and a bunch of really fit girls (which I did not like so much). They were all either really tan or painted orange.
It was SO WEIRD, you guys. SO WEIRD.
I was kind of disgusted, but also kind of fascinated. They were all so ridiculously in shape. I just wanted to tell them that there is a point where you stop looking attractive and start looking like an alien.
Or a collection of balloon animals.
The winner got a sword, though. I really want a sword. I could play real-life fruit ninja. But, with my terrible coordination and poor vision, fruit ninja would most likely turn into actual ninja.
Because I would accidentally stab and kill someone.
So, less ninja and more accidental murderer.
Manslaughterer.
I should know more about this. I am a criminal justice major, after all.
Oh! In major news (ha, get it? because it's major news, but also news...about my major...oh, puns...) I added a second major.
I am now a criminal justice-slash-sociology major. Hoorah! My life didn't feel quite useless enough for me.
No, but I'm actually really excited. I love sociology and the only reason I wasn't already majoring in it is because there is no such thing as a job for someone with a sociology degree.
But! With a criminal justice degree, I am somewhat marketable! So I can write more papers about how the emergence of the hipster subculture represents the breakdown of traditional gender norms, but still eventually get a job!
Yay!
So, the weather kind of sucks today. I know, I know...I'm talking about weather, but bear with me. It's hot, but it's also wet. It's like the inside of a dragon's mouth.
If dragons were real and had mouths instead of, you know, no mouths because they are make-believe.
But, I digress. I've changed clothes three times today, because I can't deal with it. I have no dragon-mouth temperature suitable clothes. I don't know if they even exist, what with dragons themselves not existing and all.
Yeah. I should go before unicorns and basilisks get involved.
Everything would just get weird if that happened.
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