Day 150 of College: The Diamond Half-Wall

Today...


I just drank a venti coffee thing from Starbucks. For those of you not, like, in the know with Starbucks-lingo, the venti is the big one. The REALLY BIG ONE. THE UNGODLY BIG ONE. Seriously, my hands are twitching weirdly while I type. It's sort of interesting but also terrifying. I'm one of those people who just shouldn't drink coffee. I get shouty and weird (well, weirder) when I have caffeine inside of me. 


It's how I imagine most people feel when they snort cocaine. 


Or get electrocuted. 


Moving on...I have a problem with Ball State right now. A problem that doesn't involve my major or my shitty dorm or any of the usual things. NONE OF THE THINGS. 


My problem...is with a half-wall. 


Lemme tell you some things are this half-wall. It's right outside of the library, it's maybe five-feet tall at its highest and it HAS NO FEASIBLE PURPOSE WHATSOEVER. 


That in itself would be annoying enough, but wait! There's more! Not only is this half-wall idiotic...it took them an ENTIRE SEMESTER to build. So...it takes close to SIX MONTHS to build a half-wall? Really? 


I think not, construction gods. 


If you don't actually go to Ball State...my half wall ranting might seem a bit groundless. It's not, I tell you! There are perfectly good reasons to hate that freaking half-wall. 


1. Why is it even there? It doesn't surround anything. It's not protecting anything. It's just a diminutive wall that's sitting by the side of the library and being more useless than nipples on a male cat. 


2. Why did you have to build it during the school year? The entire student body had to manuever around your stupid half-wall construction site for SIX MONTHS. Couldn't you wait until summer to build it? Or maybe go all Extreme Home Makeover on its ass and finish it over winter break. 


3. Why a half-wall? Why not just a regular wall for all the freaking time you spent on it? 


4. Knowing Ball State, they probably built this wall in the most cost-ineffective way possible. They probably hired male models to build it instead of actual construction workers. The foundation is probably made of elephant tusks. It's not made of bricks. It's made out of FREAKING BRICK-COLORED DIAMONDS, RIGHT BALL STATE? Education Redefined...try Education ROB YOU BLIND. 


He. That was clever. 


5. My entire tuition...all four years of it, will probably go to pay for that half-wall. 


Isn't that just depressing?


Danielle OUT.