It's cold.
It's very cold.
It's stupidly, unfairly, literally worse than the movie The Day After Tomorrow cold.
As a human person who walks literally everywhere in their life, this poses a problem. A problem called "I'm starting to think I need a dogsled team to get to work, oh my god Indiana we aren't the freaking Yukon, calm the hell down."
It's...it's a working title. I feel like it does a pretty good job of expressing the "I can't feel my ears" level of cold I am currently dealing with.
Ugh. Weather. I am pro-global warming at this point. Go ahead, ice caps. Melt already. I can kayak to work or something. So long as the temperature is never negative ever again.
The penguins can adapt. I believe in them. They can move to the cities and become stock brokers and Red Lobster waiters in their tiny little tuxedos. It will be great. Shut up.
In other news, my birthday is soon. So...get excited. I'm turning 21.
Drunk Danielle is coming to a theatre near you!
Not really. There will be no drunk Danielle. My birthday is on a Tuesday. You can't get drunk on a Tuesday. Well, I mean you can. It's just...not advisable.
Also, I have to work that day. Stir fry is Serious Business. You shouldn't drink and fry. It's not the law...but it probably should be.
So, speaking of my job, something exciting happened the other day. It was a regular scandal. Someone wrote "Obama Sucks" in the men's employee bathroom above the urinal. You might be saying to yourself, "really, toilet graffiti? That's exciting for you?"
But it really is! It is literally the most exciting thing that has ever happened at my job ever. Well, we had a fryer sort of explode one time, but other than that this is the most exciting thing! Someone had the audacity to pen such a bold, thought-provoking political statement on the bathroom wall.
And we only have two male employees. And one of them was the one who found it! So...my first ever detective-type investigation is starting to get real exciting. I plan on buying some tacks, yarn and printing out a whole bunch of mostly-irrelevant pictures to create one of those crime-tracking-web things on my bulletin board. Also, I need a bulletin board.
Honestly, though...it was super funny to see everybody at work freak out over the "Obama Sucks" written above a urinal. It was all anyone talked about. Not just during that one shift either, no...it was for like the entire week afterwards.
Politics, am I right?
Speaking of other very exciting things, I bought a ring that looks like a watch. It's awesome and fantastic and it only cost me 99 cents (and no, I was not thrift shopping.)
I am not allowed to wear my watch-ring at work. I know because I tried to wear it at work and was forced to take it off and go put it in my locker. I attempted to protest this gross injustice by appealing to my boss. My boss said that I was not allowed to wear my ring because only wedding rings are allowed. I looked him right in the eye and told him that my watch ring was a wedding ring. He just looked kind of tired and sad and went away without saying anything else.
I don't think he's all that fond of my theatrics.
Anyway, I should probably go...it's stupidly cold outside and I have to somehow make my way to work. It's times like this when I really rue my irrational fear of buses, shuttles and all other forms of public transportation. Also my completely rational fear of attempting to drive myself anywhere.
That fear is 100% rational. One time, I jumped a round-a-bout and lost a hubcap because I was too busy yelling to pay attention the the actual driving business.
Ugh.
My life is stupid.
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