16 Days Until College: Land Sharks

Today...


is day 2 of SHARK WEEK!!! I love shark week. I love shark week to an unhealthy degree. I have watched at the very least five hours of shark-related programing today. Psh...of course I have friends...psh. Whatever. You don't know my life. Anyway...my extreme love of all things shark week was born from my INTENSE FEAR of sharks. Seriously. I got, like, twenty-two minutes into Jaws before I flipped out. 
     I'm aware that most people who are deathly afraid of sharks do not spend the entirety of Shark Week on a couch watching Shark Week. But, unlike many people who have shark-related phobias, I live in a land-locked state. And have always lived in a land-locked state. So HA sharks. Try and bite me now. That is basically my mentality behind watching Shark Week. Mostly, it consists of me laughing because sharks cannot come get me on my couch. 
      When I was a child, however, my dad convinced me and my brother that there was an exotic breed of shark called  Land Sharks. He said that Land Sharks come and knock on your door and ask for orange soda and oreo cookies. If you didn't comply with a Land Shark's request for orange soda and oreo cookies, he'd eat you. I was understandably upset at the notion that a shark might come to my door and steal my cookies and soda. 
     I'm pretty sure i believed in Land Sharks until at least second grade. No wonder I'm still terrified of sharks. It took a ridiculous amount of courage for me to poke a shark at the zoo. No...i didn't have oreos and orange soda in my purse in case the shark-poking went bad. Ha...that'd be stupid....
     Anyway. 
    I'm unsure why Shark Week is so fun for me. Maybe cause they've never done a special on Land Sharks. I swear, if I ever turn on the TV to see "Land Sharks: Innocent Orange Soda Lovers or Ruthless Killers?" then I'm finding some way to move to Mars. 
    Land Sharks don't have thumbs...so I doubt they could fly a space shuttle to Mars. 
    Or at least that's what I tell myself. 


Danielle OUT.