In celebration of finals week, I've crafted this good old-fashioned video blog just for you!
(don't tell the others)
Anyway, I hate finals. They suck and make me sad. I've been existing in a state of constant anxiety for the past like month.
But instead of doing anything to relieve this anxiety like, I don't know, studying I've just been taking a lot very discouraged naps.
Sigh. One day I'll be a fully functional and responsible adult. You'll see. You'll all see!
Until then...have a video blog.
A vlog, as it were.
So, there's that for you. I would write more, but, you know...finals.
(Protip: When you want to go play video games, but don't want to be rude, just say finals. Trust me.)
So...I've been a bit AWOL these past few weeks, haven't I? You all didn't even get a post-valentine's day rant.
And, for that, I apologize.
Guess what I've been doing? (if you said eating, sleeping and procrastinating, you're not wrong) Mostly, though, I've been playing my Xbox. Go ahead, shake your collective heads with disapproval. I know...I'm the worst.
I just...I started on a new game series and I could not stop. In the past, like, month I've gotten average of 5 hours of sleep a night. I have a problem.
But, no, I finished my game series (Mass Effect, if you were wondering) about a week ago. And the ending of the third game was so soul-crushingly horrible that I couldn't summon the will to do anything other than sleep, eat cereal and cry in the shower.
And...that's what's been happening with me.
Moving back into non-video-game-related matters, my spring break starts at the end of this week. "But, Danielle," You might be saying, utterly perplexed, "You can't be having spring break! It's February!"
To that, I would respond, "I know. Ball State just sucks. At everything."
But, no, my professors are trying to squeeze in their exams before we leave on late-winter break. I have four tests this week. It's the worst.
So, I had to take this written exam. One of the questions was "describe three different types of bail." Well, I only knew two different types of bail. So, I wrote those down and then stared at the paper. And I stared. And stared.
And I could not even come up with a made-up kind of bail that sounded even a little bit reasonable and/or legitimate.
So, I wrote "the third type of bail is Wednesday bail. Wednesday is exactly the same as regular bail expect it is paid on a Wednesday." My professor just wrote the word "NO" on my paper.
It all worked out fine because I got a B+ on the exam and I was like, "eh, whatever. I'll take it." I still think I should have gotten an extra credit point for cleverness. Because, technically, Wednesday bail is a real thing...
But I digress.
This is short...but I really don't have much else to say. I'll be back when something depressing happens.
So...screw college.
That is how I'm feeling right now. Mostly because I'm in the middle of a three-hour night class and three-hour night classes are no fun. I'm not even kind of paying attention.
It's a "myths and legends" class. I hate it. I know what you're thinking. "Danielle, why are you in a myths and legends class? You're a criminal justice major! Oh no! Did you change majors again?"
No, I didn't change majors again. I just have to take this class because Ball State is the worst and wants to make me take stupid classes about things that aren't criminal justice related. All I want to do is bring justice...to criminals...
A working knowledge of myths and legends will not help me do that. I highly doubt I'll ever need to know anything about creation myths in my career. Unless I'm after a serial killer who is obsessed with creation myths and legends.
I don't know. It sounds like an episode of a network crime show. Like SVU or NCIS or CSI or DMV or some other acronym.
I want to go home...to my dorm...where my xbox is...
I've gotten a bit...umm...obsessed with that lately. I went on Friday and bought a new game. I spent all weekend inside my dorm and beat it by Sunday. Now I'm replaying it on a higher difficulty. At the rate I'm going, I'll have it beat again by tomorrow.
I have a problem.
Speaking of problems, these creation myths are messed up. The world was a weirder place when there were no drug laws. All these ancient people were probably all hopped up on meth and LSD and whatever.
I know they didn't have the resources or technology to make crystal meth back then. Don't tell me that. I'm a criminal justice major for God's sake. I've seen Breaking Bad. I know what I'm talking about.
The professor just said the words "cat-people" and "evil magic" in the same sentence. I really don't think I can take this level of ridiculousness much longer. I mean, I'm wacky enough on my own. I don't need your assistance, random professor.
So, I've been looking at apartments for next year. It's stressful. Living in a dorm, I don't really think about all the money I'm forking over. It's one big stupid payment. But with apartments, everything's about rent and me paying it and that's not cool with me.
I am excited about having a kitchen, though. I'm pretty sure I'll end up eating nothing but grilled cheese sandwiches and popcorn, but in my head I become a five star chef. Eh, whatever. I like grilled cheese.
Good lord, this story just got weirder. There are spider-people, a water-monster and wind what speaks people language. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this. I don't claim to know how the world was created, but I'm pretty sure that spider-people didn't have anything to do with it.
Well, I should go and listen to this drivel. Eventually, I'm gonna be tested on it and be expected to know why the spider-people created the world and what the cat-people's evil magic had to do with it.
I swear I'm not on drugs. This is actually happening.
So we all know how I'm currently the Queen of Awful Driving, yes?
Yes.
So, I'm pretty sure I'll be holding my title over into 2013...And how, you ask, am I pretty sure? Well, because I just did more awful driving!
I can't drive in the snow, it's something I've known for a while now. From late November to early March, I've simple accepted that I shouldn't be on the roads. It usually works out awesome for everybody.
But today was my younger brother's christmas festival...party...thing, so my parents asked me to go and be his replacement parent or whatever. I was like "yeah, okay, everyone already thinks I'm a teenage mother, so I don't really care." So everything was dandy and well.
And then it snowed. And snowed. And snowed some more for good measure. So, I woke up and my family was gone and I was expected to drive. And I tried to drive. And guess how that ended?
Badly. It ended badly.
I got to the end of my street before trying to brake and spinning in two complete circles. And then a half-circle...so I ended up facing the complete wrong way.
It was actually kind of impressive. I would have been pretty excited about it if I wasn't crying so hard. So...yeah. That happened. And then I drove a little further, panicked about hitting a house (I didn't, you know, hit a house. I just realized that hitting a house was a possibility.) and then stopped.
I stopped and left my car on some random street in my neighborhood and then walked home. And it was cold and there was snow and it was terrible.
I wasn't wearing smart human shoes, either. I was wearing stupid moccasins that filled with snow in like two seconds. Pair those with the yoga pants and sweatshirt I was wearing and you have an awesome outfit for, like, early November. Not December. Not December with wind and snow and coldness.
It sucked is basically what I'm saying.
Still, I'm glad I didn't hit another car/a house/a pole/a roundabout. That would have sucked majorly. My ordeal only sucked minorly.
Anyway, are you wondering what I have yet to mention the apocalypse? It's because I made a video about it this morning!!!!
(PS. It's kinda long...sorry. I said a lot of funny things, okay?)
So, there's that. Gah...I'm still all panicky about my magic car spin thing.
I should go lie down and not drive. Or retrive my car. Either of those two things.
Whatever. May all of your drives be as snow-free as possible.
Greetings, blog readers. So...it's been a while.
Like a couple of months. I've been busy.
Don't look at me like that...I have. I've been doing so many productive things and making so many friends....
Okay, okay, you caught me.
I bought an xbox.
So...technically I have been busy. Just not busy in a positive way. Unless you count playing Skyrim for like 8 hours a day as a positive way to be busy.
Moving on...my video game playing has led to some crazy escapades. And by crazy escapades, I mean me injuring myself while doing something stupid. Again.
All I was trying to do was hang up a kickass Batman poster because my room was boring (it's not boring anymore. Now it has a kickass Batman poster). So, I was doing that. Just chilling in my room and standing on a desk and hanging up my poster. I got it all stuck to the wall and I was like, "yeah! this Batman poster looks awesome! no more crime for my room, no sir!"
So, I was all excited and whatnot. I was going to hop off my desk, head downstairs and get some celebratory grape jello. That didn't happen. I jumped from my desk to my bed...and it all went downhill from there. See, I can't jump very far in real life. In video games, I'm a world-class jumper. I could jump the crap outta any jump-related situation. In real life, not so much. Long story short, one of my legs ended up on the bed and the other ended up on the floor. I inadvertently did the splits and suddenly walking wasn't really in the cards for me.
I've been limping around like some sort of demented pirate for the past two weeks. It's made my walking class rather difficult.
That's just one of the wacky and depressing things I've been up to. I also had the stomach flu on Thanksgiving and dressed as Batgirl some more. So...you know. Average Danielle-type things that I've been doing.
Right now, I'm in class. Criminology to be precise. My professor sucks. A lot. Today we're talking about cocaine trafficking and prostitution. Fun topic, right? WRONG! She's making it SO BORING!
How does one make prostitution and cocaine boring? I don't know! It's like a recipie for fun and debauchery! Or a kickass movie! It should be like Scarface up in here and instead I'm so effing bored that I'm stabbing myself in the leg with a pencil just to stay awake.
I should really be teaching this class instead. I'd wear my Batsuit and bring in a real live prostitute for the students to look at (don't touch...they bite!). I really am so much better at things than most people.
Gah, I should go.
I've probably got lead poisoning from all the pencil-leg-stabbing I've done.
So, if I die in the next few hours...that's probably why.
