Day 240 of College: Bathroom Lunchables

Today...

is a Thursday. Happy Thursday, blog readers! 

No, but seriously...that's the most exciting thing about this particular day. That it's a Thursday. 

Meh. 

I'm feeling increasingly apathetic about classes, homework, tests, ect. School in general, really. Never fear, though. I only have 23 days of college left! 

(this year, I mean)

I've been wondering...how shall I count days when I'm no longer at school? Like, this summer will I type "Day 1 of Summer?" But now I feel like all this college-day-counting was a big ole waste of time. 

Hmmm. This is something I must ponder for a while. 

So, anyway. I've recently discovered that they sell pizza lunchables in the basement of the dorm where I live. This is FANTASTIC news. So, for about the past week I've eaten little to nothing beside pizza lunchables. Oh, and leftover easter candy.

Health food! 

I'm going to have to buy more pizza lunchables this summer and somehow hide them from my hordes of siblings. 

I plan on bringing them to eat at my job so I feel all grown-up. 

Oh! Right...I haven't informed you avid blog readers about my summer employment yet! Well, in case you care (and even if you don't), I'm interning this summer at an office-type shindig. It's awesome because I can put in on my resume and make lots of money and whatnot. It's not awesome because it has real-person-job-hours. I'm working 8 to 4...every single day. 

It's like school...but I get paid twelve dollars an hour.

I'm thinking the benefits outweigh the whole working-eight-hours thing. Also, I get a lunch break. Where I can eat my pizza lunchables. 

If you can't tell, I haven't eaten yet today. So, I'm kind of fixated on this whole lunch thing. Because I'm hungry. And I want lunch. Preferably a pizza-lunchable kind of lunch.

Or any kind of lunch really. I am many things...picky is not one of them. 

So...speaking of food, I saw some girl eating Chick-Fil-A in the bathroom yesterday. It brought back memories of my junior high years. So, that was fun. And weird. Mostly weird. 

I wanted to ask her why she was eating in the bathroom. In high school or junior high, it kinda makes sense. You have to eat at a certain place at a certain time and if you don't have any friends, it can get majorly uncomfortable.

But in college, most people have houses and/or dorms. So, you can bring your food back to the place you live and eat it there. And what's more, no one is forcing you to eat at, like, a certain place or time. I could go eat some Chick-Fil-A right now! Because I'm an adult! Free to make my own choices, what what! 

But, I digress. If homegirl wants to eat in the bathroom...whatever. I'm not gonna judge. 

I'm just going to write about her on my blog. 

Danielle OUT.

Day Ninety-Two of College: Dead Mongooses

Today...
 (Well, actually more like last night)


I DIDN'T SLEEP. 


I'm serious. You know how most people say "oh, I didn't get any sleep last night" and really they went to bed at like two in the morning and actually got at least six hours of sleep?


Yeah, well, that's not what I mean. I mean that I literally did not sleep last night. AT ALL. 


It wasn't for, like, a particular reason. Well, I was freaking out a little about the whole major-thing...but I've been freaking out about that for like, months now. So...I dunno. I just didn't sleep. 


Maybe I'm turning into a vampire. 


God...that new vampire movie comes out this week, doesn't it? I still don't understand the attraction behind those stupid Twilight books/movies. 


I'm not hating without reason, bro. I read the books, all of 'em. And I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND. I'm not gonna be one of those snobby people who're all like, 
                    "Twilight is an affront to literature and human decency." 
I mean, I won't say it out loud, at least, or post it repeatedly in online twilight forums. 


But, seriously, there has to be something that I'm missing. 


          Cause, in my eyes (and spolier alert here), this is the basic plot: 


1. There is a girl named Bella. Bella is a personality-less pale girl with exactly ONE facial expression. 


2. There are some people called Cullens. The Cullens are all sparkly and good-looking (and not gay...or so they claim). One of them is named Edward. He decides that he likes Bella, despite her having the personality and facial expression of a dead mongoose. He likes Bella A LOT. 


3. Stalking and special-hugs ensue. 


4. There are some werewolves and some angst. 


5. At some point in there, Bella and Edward get married. I dunno. Apparently you can marry undead things now. Poor Edward, having to be married to an undead mongoose. No wonder he talks about how bad she smells so often. 


6. Also, undead things can have babies now. Cause that happens. 


7. A werewolf (with really great abs) falls madly in love with a baby. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK ITS EVEN KINDA WEIRD AND/OR CREEPY.


8. That's pretty much the sum of it. 


                   (spoilers over!) 




So...that's what I got from all like 7 thousand+ words of the Twilight series. Also, the word murmur. Someone murmured to Stephanie Myer too much as a child. Seriously. The word is on like, EVERY PAGE. 




Wow....I brought pop culture up into this blog. I don't usually do that. Unless it's Cosmo. Cosmo is always in the subtext of my blogs. ALWAYS. 


Now I'm probably gonna have to deal with hate-comments about how I shouldn't be hating on Twilight. I dunno. I was the one who read all four books. Granted, I did it mostly to understand my classmates in Junior High. 


Junior High was the worst. 


Danielle Out. 

Day Sixty-Five of College: Justice...Kinda my Middle Name. Kinda.

Today...


I skipped Journalism. AGAIN. But this time it wasn't even on purpose. See, my sister and me went car shopping today. So...that was a TON of fun. Except for the part where the car she bought broke down a few blocks from the dealership and the part where she refused to purchase me a retired police car. And yes, the whole lemon-car thing sucks for her...


BUT AN EX-POLICE CAR?


I would name it THE ENFORCER and we would have the best of times. Seriously. It even has the, like, floodlight on it so I could show up to parties and scare freshmen. The things that The Enforcer and I could do...


I would buy a police uniform and follow people I didn't like around all day. 
I'd arrest people for jaywalking. 
I'd make my siblings ride in the "prisoner containment unit."
I'd speed and never get caught. 
I'd read people their rights before I'd let them ride with me. 
I'd hit other cars, just for fun. 
If anyone asked for a ride, I'd tell 'em that The Enforcer only drives to one place...downtown. 
I'd call people who rode with me punks. 
I'd hit passersby repeatedly with a nightstick. 
I'd commit a string of thefts from various jewelry store and never get caught.
I'd arrest pizza drivers. Just cause. 
I'd buy a gun and shoot people for jaywalking.
I'd commender a fleet of other police-type cars and create for a for-hire police service. 
I would effectively rule all of central Indiana. 


I realize these ideas got steadily more outlandish and altogether insane. Still...a police car. HOW COOL IS THAT????


I am determined that someday, somehow, through theft or some other illegal form of car-getting, I will have a police car! And I will name that police car The Enforcer and we will ENFORCE...er. Justice. It sounds kind of like my middle name. Which is Lenae. Sort of like justice.


But, not really. 


There are other fun and altogether depressing things that I did today...but my excitement over The Enforcer has kind of eclipsed everything else. 


Twilight ruined the word eclipse for me. Also, most of seventh through ninth grade. 


I don't wanna talk about it. 


I'd love to stay and talk, but I have things to do. Like figure out how to obtain a police car. And Enforce things. Until I get a police car, I'm naming my bike The Enforcer. 


Evildoers beware. 


Danielle Out. 

Day Sixteen of College: R for Reverse-Karma

Today...
     I think that my bad luck-slash-the general suckiness of my life is contagious. It's like reverse-karma. I suck out your good karma points by standing to close. I've alway thought of karma like the House 
points in Harry Potter...so, in this instance, innocent bystanders are Gryffindor and I'm Snape. 
     
     Take the necessary precautions. My evidence behind this conclusion is that two cars crashed into each other, like, feet from me. I was riding my bike about campus like I usually do when I'm mourning the fact that I will be in debt for literally forever when all of the sudden two cars went careening into each other! GASP! I was almost killed. No, not really. But, still. I think it's my fault. My depressing-ocity is like a disease...it's spreading through the air!!
      
     Sorry...seventh grade flashback. For whatever reason, my stupid school district has kids watch the movie Outbreak to understand how diseases get spread. I would like to ask the school board one question. ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MINDS??? Outbreak is rated R. As in restricted. As in you should NOT show this to seventh grade school children. That is NOT a thing you should do. Because, despite the fact that the "gory" and "romantic" scenes are censored out...IT'S STILL A HORROR MOVIE ABOUT DISEASES. And maybe some impressionable seventh-grader might be so frightened by the concept of a disease taking over the planet, she'll skip a week of school so she doesn't have to see the conclusion of the horrific saga. ANYWAY. 
  
 Other things that happened today...let's see...I dunno, I'm still stuck on the Outbreak thing. 


   Junior High was TERRIBLE. 

  All children ages 12-14 should be locked away in tiny cages far underground. Cause that would probably be FUNNER than Junior High. Funner is not a word. I know that. I'm not dumb! I GOT A 1920 ON MY SATS! GET OFF MY BACK!
   
   This blog is turning unreasonable and angry. Sorry. College does not provide many sleeping opportunities. Or...it does, but I choose to neglect them by playing Robot Unicorn Attack or writing self-pitying blogs that no one will read...


(why does nobody love me?) 


Anyway. 


There's homework to be done. And since I'm paying tens of thousands of dollars of the privilege to do this freaking homework...


I should probably go do my freaking homework. 


Danielle Out.