Day 109 of College: I'm Faster than Usual

Today...


I would like to clear something up. I'm not dying, nor am I already dead. Okay. 


We're good. 


So, moving on. For those unlucky souls who are not my Facebook/real-life friends, you haven't heard about my lemonade-flavored escapades of this past week, have you?


Well, they're fun. And they involve hot boys and the hospital and me being generally uncomfortable. So...to start....


The hot boy. And the lemonade. It's a video...which I shall now embed...

So...there's that. 

But, moving on from my lemonade-soaked moccasins (they're still sticky, I swear) I also went to the hospital. AT ONE IN THE FREAKING MORNING. 

And let me just say, I think Web MD should be outlawed. Because Web MD freaked me the hell out. Cause when I put in my symptoms, Web MD told me I was having a freaking stroke. I'm an 18-year-old girl, Web MD. 18-year-old girls do not often have strokes. So, I went to the hospital at one in the freaking morning and got a CAT scan. Guess what? NO STROKE, WEB MD. 

Migrane-style-headache, check. No feeling in my left side, also check. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM HAVING A STROKE, WEB MD. 

So, that's where the Danielle-is-dead/dying rumors came in. Just to clear it up. 

Danielle Out. 

PS. I'm fine. Again, to clear it up. People have been calling my phone at very odd hours to make sure I'm not in a morgue. It's very sweet, yes, but it is also awful for my already fragile and tiny sleep schedule. 

2 Days Until College: Hilarious Whales

Today...


    I am not going to talk about today. I am going to talk about yesterday because yesterday was faaar more interesting. So, yesterday, I went to the hospital and while I was there, they gave me morphine. 
    Morphine RULES. 
    It made me very, very, very friendly towards all the members of the hospital staff. I swear, I tried to make friends with every doctor, nurse and janitor there. I also called or texted half of my contacts and tried to make make friends with all of them. The problem is, I'm already friends with most, if not all, of my contacts. So it was a little strange. Also, I was was a little strange. One example of this is a conversation I had with my sister. I said "I wish that you were here so you could give me a hug and make me feel better." She, being a rather nice person, catered to my weirdness and said, "I would give you five hugs." In my super-morphined state, I was astonished  Five hugs? That was madness! So I said, "But that's SO MANY HUGS!"
    So...that was my generally state of mind yesterday. I also thought that an episode of Phineas and Ferb was the most brilliant work of television I had ever seen. I also laughed hysterically at a documentary on humpbacked whales. Apparently, humpbacked whales are pretty funny. Apparently. 
    And moving on from that...the little Wayne concert was yesterday. And guess what they do when they find a drunk, disorderly and under-aged person at a little Wayne concert? That's right...they send them to the hospital! So, that was pretty funny. One girl, she couldn't have been more than 15, ran away from the doctors and attempted to hide in the corner of my room. Of course, I tried to make friends with her too. 
    No offense to little Wayne, but all of his fans I saw yesterday were screeching, projectile vomiting, biting people and just generally acting like Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body (which is a fabulous movie, by the way. If you haven't seen it...then make it a priority.) But, seriously, come on, Little Wayne! You've got to be able to find classier people to give a concert for! 
    Poor Little Wayne. 
   But, by the time I got checked out...I looked like a little Wayne fan myself. I'd cried off my (considerable amount of) eyeliner so I looked like someone had punched me in both eyes and my hair...I can't even begin to describe it. Little Wayne would be proud. 


Danielle Out. 


PS. (Mary Figueroa begged to be mentioned in a blog. So...here you are marmalade.)