Day 246 of College: Haikus and Momentus Occasions

Today...


Happy 50th, people! 50th blog post, that is! This is the part where people usually thank their fans and whatnot. I will not be doing that. I think we all know that I would still write these whether people read them or not. 


In honor of this momentus day, a haiku: 

Who would have thought

Writing about depression

Could make you happy

And because that was fun, a second haiku:

Fifty is a number

Fifty blogs I have written

My life is the worst

Oh, poetry. You bring me so much undeserved joy. 


Anyway, back to the 50th blog festivities! 


I've been having an oddly southern day. You're probably asking your computer screen, "But Danielle, what is a 'southern day?' Oh please enlighten us, great and very attractive one!!" 


Firstly, thank you. I am very attractive. 


Secondly, a southern day is a day when my inner-monologue sounds like it's from Louisiana. Seriously...it's weird and I don't know where it's coming from. 


But, let's take a look at a paper I wrote for english today. The teacher said 'participation points' and I got freaking excited. Whenever participation is a criteria, I turn into one sarcastic little bi-otch. Also, my southern-ness managed to creep in there. 


Just...for example, here's a bit of my paper: 

      " ...Woe is me! What am I supposed to write about now? Drinking ice tea and headin on down to the bayou? Is that what you want? Fricken fine then. I'll go down to the bayou and fish for some catfish and we'll all be happy dandy won't we?" 

Keep in mind...that's beginning of the fourth paragraph. The finished paper had twelve paragraphs. I won't read them for you.

The last few were oddly emotional. 

Anyway. I have t-minus 17 days until I'm out of here! Woo! Then I get to work...every day...for eight hours...

I rescind my woo. 

Moving on...I'm already dreading my 8am math class and it's only three in the afternoon. I just hate it so much. It's so boring. 

I do lots of stuff in that class. Let's make a list, shall we? It's the 50th blog! We've already used italics...let's get crazy!

Things Danielle Does in Math Class

1. Draws stick figures
2. Stares distractedly at the (broken) clock
3. Contemplates the meaning of life
4. Writes "Math is the worst" all over notebooks, folders, binder, ect.
5. Draws sharks all over the desk. In pen. 
6. Throws erasers at the hipster kid
7. Not listen
8. Any conceivable thing that isn't math

So, there's that. And speaking of things you should do but really haven't...have you liked me on Facebook? You haven't? Not ready for out relationship to be FBO yet? (P.S. FBO means facebook official. Google it, bitch.) Well as a proud southern woman...never mind. 

Just, like me. Do that. Also, leave me comments. They make me happy. Also, I am staggeringly needy. We know this. This has been established. So like me on Facebook and leave me comments. And then I will be so happy I may never write a depressing blog again! 

But I totally will. 

Happy 50th, people!!!

Danielle OUT. 

Day 184 of College: Russian Super Tortoises

Today...


It's a study day. And, because it's a study day, I'm sitting in the library and typing a blog to avoid doing actual work! Huzzah! 


This seems to be a pattern for me. Most of the blogs you read were, in fact, written during my anthropology class or during my "study days." 


But, today, I actually should be studying. Because, my first test in my anthropology class is tomorrow and, as I've previously stated, I am rarely listening in my anthropology class and more often am just typing a blog and nodding thoughtfully if the professor happens to look my way. 


So, I literally know nothing about anthropology. Other than the fact that it's a particularly long word. I only took the class because I need a science class to graduate and someone told me that there was no math involved. 


Math is the worst. Also, morning classes are worst. Guess who has a math class at 8 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays? 


I'm not even going to bother typing "this girl" because we all know that it, in fact, is. My 8 am math class also happens to be my only class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and, due to my intense love of napping and my crippling facebook addiction, I don't get a lot done on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Hence today's study day. 


Anyhow, the major question has once again come up. Stupid major question. It's like a greedy drunk ex-boyfriend, always showing up when I least expect it. Granted, I have never had an ex-boyfriend, greedy, drunk or otherwise, so I'm mostly going off of blind conjecture and lifetime movies. 


But, yeah. I'm thinking criminal justice because 1. I would be a kickass lawyer and 2. I would be a kickass cop. 


The world would be a safer place if I had a law degree, a gun and a police car. Don't you agree? 


Who cares if you agree? I'm going to go and get a stupid college degree just so I can fulfill a petty, childish whim. It's almost like I'm a musical theatre major! Boom.


(Seriously, though. I love you, musical theatre majors. If I had parents to pay for my college or the brains/talent/political clout needed to get a scholarship, I'd totally be a musical theatre major too. Or a glass blowing major because, what the hell.) 


My attempts to learn Russian are, sadly, not going all the well. The un-english looking letters are seriously hard to pronounce. I try and sound like I have a frog in my throat. And I don't mean that as a figure of speech. I mean that as I sound like I am literally choking on a live amphibian. 


I had a pet frog once. His name was Lysander. He ate a cricket that was bigger than him and died. 


All my pets seem to die horrible deaths. 


Except Pope John Paul, of course. Pope John Paul is immortal. And he has super powers. He's the Russian Desert Tortoise version of Superman. 


True story. 


Danielle OUT. 

Day 116 of College: Avoidance is the Best Policy

Today...


I'm supposed to be writing a paper. About Muncie. So, instead I wrote/recorded a blog. 


You're welcome. 


No, but seriously. This semester needs to be over. I don't care that my class semester is all kinds of terrible next semester. 


Seriously, though. 


I have two math classes and two anthropology classes. 


I don't trust subjects with that many syllables in the title. Also, I just plain hate math. Math is terrible. 


Also, I recorded me talking while I was waiting for my laundry to dry....

So. There's that. 


It was terrible to cut...seriously. So many funny things happened that you didn't get to hear. Poor you. I get to hear my funny self talk all the time. 


Oh, shameless self promotion for a minute. If you haven't already, like Danielle's Depressing Blogs on Facebook. There's a box somewhere up by the top of the page....go on...go like it...you know you want to. 


Or you could like me on Google Plus....


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


I almost got through that with a straight face....like anyone uses Google Plus. 


Seriously Google Plus, it's nice that you tried. But, let it go. Nobody wants you. 


Now go outside and sleep in the rain. And Facebook will stand in the doorway and laugh at you. Seriously, you laugh Facebook. You've earned it. 


Danielle Out.