Day 213 of College: Attack of the Frisbees

Today...


I walked aimlessly around campus for a few hours. I did this because the weather was nice, so I wanted to be outside, but I didn't want to sit in one place lest I be mocked or hit with an ultimate frisbee (how are they different than regular frisbees? I mean, really.) 


I don't know why someone would mock me. But, walking around campus, I'm already half-convinced that everyone is laughing at me. Again, I have no idea why. 


But, anyway, I wandered campus aimlessly. I call this "pulling a Danielle." There are 3 distinct rules that you must follow when pulling a Danielle. 


1. Don't meander. Walk sort-of quickly, like you might be heading to class or something. This dispels suspicion that you aren't actually going to someplace. 


2. Have a "destination" in mind. My destination is always Starbucks, mostly because Starbucks is hella far from campus. Walking there takes, like, ten minutes (At Ball State Strip Mall, ten minutes is far). Seriously, Starbucks is the Pluto of the Ball State Universe-ity. 

3. Don't make eye contact. For me, this is a life rule in general. Eye contact leads to awkwardness. And bananas. 


Anyhow, time for some cutting observations about other college-goers. 


So, this week has been warm. On some levels, this is neat. On some levels, this is not-so-neat. The not-so-neat level consists mainly of whores. 


Let me explain. There is no dress code in college. Apparently, that means you dress like a street walker on the first day of non-frigid weather. Seriously. Sometimes, I can't tell if girls are wearing "shorts" or denim-colored-thongs. 


Some of them are wearing homecoming dresses. I'm not kidding. Throw a cardigan over that sucker and apparently your homecoming dress is like the same thing as a sundress. 


Also, the girls in my building think that sunbathing on the sidewalk outside is a good idea. I almost tripped on one in a straight-up string bikini yesterday. 


It's been making me seriously uncomfortable. 


On a related note, the boys in my building are getting ridiculous. And clever. But mostly ridiculous. 


They've figured out that you can sit on the lawn outside and just stare at girls. It's like Playboy with marginally more clothes and marginally less money. And marginally the same amounts  of skeeviness. 


And people wonder why I want to drop out of college...


(Is it like this at all colleges? Or is it just marginally-better-than-community-college-Ball-State?) 


Whatever. I'll just keep my clothes on and remain ridiculously pale. We'll see who's laughing when we're all thirty and they all have skin cancer...and probably husbands. 


At this rate, I will most likely still be single. 


Danielle OUT.