12 Days Until College: Fictional Adulterers

Today...


began at IHOP. At midnight. Does midnight count as part of today, blog-wise? Eh, whatever. But, I had IHOP at midnight today/yesterday. At the time it seemed like a fabulous idea. Now, I doubt that the idea was so fabulous. I ate all of my food and most of the other people's food as well...so unless pancakes now burn calories...I ate enough to feed a small African village. Perhaps two small African villages. Depends what sort of African villages we're talking about, honestly.
      Anyhow...moving on from third-world-countries onto more first-world issues...I bought my books for college today. And those suckers cleared out my bank account pretty darn quick. Apparently, in addition to charging enough in tuition to build a castle for the African villagers, Ball-stupid-State needs to make sure that my accumulated debt lasts at least into my mid-fifties by jacking up book prices nine billion percent.
    If I live to be fifty.
   Which is probably a more likely possibility if I stop eating IHOP at midnight.
    Huh.
    And also, they're BOOKS for crying out loud. I probably won't even, like, use them. I am functionally illiterate. Also, Google Chrome just auto-corrected my incorrect spelling of the world illiterate into 'adulterer.' Seriously Google Chrome...get your mind out of the biblical gutter. I am in no way a functional adulterer. Lord, it just corrected functional in 'fictional'. You're making this too easy, Google Chrome. Fictional adulterers? REALLY? 
    And now I want pancakes. Then again, when don't I want pancakes? When I'm a fictional adulterer, that's when. Which isn't now...or ever. Riiight? (Google Chrome just corrected that into, not right, but righto. Apparently, righto is probably what I was trying to spell. Probably.)
      Wow, that was something...I picked on African villagers, didn't I? African villager mockery is the last resort of the imaginatively bankrupt, if you didn't know. Which is something that I am. 
     I am writing about pancakes after all. And college. And fictional adulterers. 
    Groundbreaking. 


   Danielle out.